Beneath this sod a poet lies

The Long Goodbye

2010-04-25T00:28:00.003+08:00

Hi guys,
this will probably be my last post here on blogger.
I must say, it's been a hell of a six year ride here. I leave this place with great reluctance.
This blog will still be up for sentimental sake, but I will be moving to cheyenne54.tumblr.com from now. All the posts that were on blogger have also been moved there.

Goodbye old pal. It's been real.

Don't Look Back

2010-04-15T23:04:00.003+08:00

I am not part of history. I am not a citizen of history. I am an absence. I am an invalid. I do not exist.

I was looking through some videos on the fall of the Berlin Wall, and I grew very depressed because I realised that in all my 23 years of living, I have not been part of something that impacted or changed the world. Heck, not even in my own country.

In 1789, I was not King Louis XVI.

In 1805, I was not Nelson.

In 1815, I was not Napoleon.

In 1870, I was not Bismarck.

In 1914, I was not a soldier.

In 1917, I was not Lenin.

In 1939, I was not Hitler.

In 1948, I was not Tito.

In 1989, I was not Gorbachev.

For now, I am a victim of history, the very thing I love. I cannot, I just cannot believe that I will go through my life as someone ordinary. I may die in the process, but if that's the tragedy of history, then give me tragedy. Where is my Trafalgar?

Ridin in my car

2010-04-11T21:24:00.007+08:00

Is the male voice dead?

Recently, I've discovered that my current spate of music interest has centred around the female voice. A few months back, I did a post on the Raveonettes, The Submarines and The Kills, all of which have a female lead.

Now, let me introduce three more - Au Revoir Simone, She & Him and Emmy the Great.

And come on, these girls are not some Amanda 'play the keyboard which when you look at it is not really so important in the band so much so that they can still survive without her so maybe ultimately she's just there for the glam and rock chic factor and nothing else' Ling. Don't get me wrong, I like the girl (I went to puke from nervousness after I met her for the first time and got her to sign my electrico badge). But let's face it. She's not Stevie.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy my recommendations.

A bowl collecting blood

2010-03-09T21:33:00.003+08:00

"(Nagy's) speech verged on the disastrous; he began by addressing the crowd as "comrades", only to be met with angry cries of 'we are not comrades!'"

Evidently, Nagy did not possess wide ranging oratorical skills. You pay for an all out rock feste. The band turns up and belts out acoustic renditions of your favourite mosh hits (see: Oasis in Singapore).

But yes, rude am I in my speech, and I don't think I have put what I am trying to drive at eloquently enough.

For that, I shall enlist the help of an elite among fluency circles - John Rambo.

"It's like someone invites you to a party and you don't show up. It doesn't really matter."

A Great Big Sled

2010-02-18T00:58:00.003+08:00

The post-war Soviet economy was too weak!

As I sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by a myriad of answers being shouted out, I was rather taken aback by the sheer complexity of the arguments being put forth.

Stalin couldn't be seen to be heading the efforts from the North!

I realised that each of the answers made sense, and they were things that I had not really thought about in great detail, but just in passing glances.

Larger geostrategic concerns!

And I thought to myself, "why can't I think of such brilliant answers on the spot?" It all seemed so natural to the rest, the kaleidoscopic waterfall of intellectual thought. But I, being simple, have dreams of my own. And I live in these castles by a child's faith. It was then that I realised that perhaps it's the simple things in life bring you to the answers.

Borders.

Talking Bird

2010-02-11T14:39:00.001+08:00

heh heh heh

Canopies and Drapes

2010-02-09T22:24:00.004+08:00

I will not lie. Rag is not easy.
I will not lie. Rag is trying.
I will not lie. Rag is testing.

I will not lie. Rag is special.

Paint. Thinner. Brushes. Dance. Nuts. Screws. Bolts. Spanners. Screwdrivers. Costumes. Contact glue. Scissors. Mounting. Ladders. Lorry. Mosiacs. Stairs. Tarpaulins. SIS. Bottle Caps. Cans. Wash the cans. Rulers. Godfather. Plans. Engine canteen. Durians. Seniors. 5am. Temasek. Eusoff. 12pm. Budget. Slotted angle. Lanterns. Lions. Red Bull. Beauty. Beast. Rag room. Sleeping Bags. Megatron. Narnia. Pushing. SRC. Touch up. Morning. Track. PeggyRosieCalefareDanny

and then at last... at long last, you see it.

When it ends, you cry. You cry because you had been part of something. Rag had become you, and you had become Rag. It is a bond that no one else knows, and please, dear Ragger, take comfort in that.

When it ends, you cry. You cry because you know that your Rag was special, that it was yours. No one else can claim that. Dear Ragger, sleep soundly with this.

When it ends, you cry. You cry because of all the memories, that will forever live on in that faulty camera in your head. Dear Ragger, I am glad to have been in those pictures with you.

When it ends, you cry because it has ended. Dear Ragger, I am blessed to be here with you, here at the end of our Rag.

To the Raggers, this is the most beautiful place in NUS.

Edward is Dedward

2010-01-24T13:28:00.001+08:00

We'll disco boogie until the dawn, I'll teach this village how to mourn.

Bitten by the same bug

2010-01-22T23:24:00.004+08:00

Science is dead.

Perhaps one day someone will quote me on this....or not (in any case, it's '(Shane Koh, 2010)'). No, I do not mean it in the same way Nietzsche meant it in his declaration of 'God is dead'. For me, it's plain and simple.

I need to bitch.

Firstly, the journey to science is arduous. I have to squeeze with the 4pm crowd on either A1 or B, and this usually involves people of my 'favourite' kind. Upon reaching science, and on the way to LT32, I am confronted by Helm's Deep. At this point, I think it is imperative to say that I SHIT YOU NOT. That being established, it is as if LT32 is build on a fort, or an ancient Greek Acropolis. I feel like an orc trying to overcome the walls of the Deep in an attempt to literally rip Legolas' hair off on the other side. It really makes Arts feel like the Shire, like home.

Secondly, perhaps to give the lecturer (whom I still have no idea what his name is... and probably never will) the benefit of the doubt, the clock in the LT is fast. Although you might be thinking that that's good, because he releases us 'early', it actually isn't, because he starts before the actual 4pm, and by the time we get in from arts, we are lost in the content. Therefore, it is not our fault that we have our picnics in the lecture (today we had Burger King!), doodle impressionistic art on our paper, and generally zone out during the lecture.

Thirdly, do you realise something in common with all the science LTs? IT'S ALL GLOOMY!! It's so depressing.

Lastly, and most importantly, WHAT HAS THE CONTENT GOT TO DO WITH ME?!?!?!?!!? I really feel like Webster (in Band of Brothers) when he drives past a whole lot of surrendering Germans in Germany and has this to shout, "Hey, you! That's right, you stupid Kraut bastards! That's right! Say hello to Ford, and General f**kin' Motors! You stupid fascist pigs! Look at you! You have horses! What were you thinking? Dragging our asses half way around the world, interrupting our lives... For what, you ignorant, servile scum! What the f**k are we doing here?"

In conclusion, for anyone reading this, and have not done their GEMS or Breadths, please find some other faculty to bitch about, for this one is taken.

You shook me all night long

2010-01-19T22:45:00.001+08:00

"It is splendid to see you engaging earnestly in debate, taking issue with suspected malice or bias (surely, we are all biased to some extent?) and not being afraid to say what you think. Long may it continue!

Keep up the spirit of defiance and scholarly endeavour! I am excited by what I see already this term.

Best wishes,

The Old Guy"

It's hard not to love him.

Hot Blooded

2010-01-18T22:26:00.001+08:00

Seriously, everyone should go and take a look at this, and perhaps you may understand how I feel.

PRC family refused to alight from bus; SBS paid for a cab to send them home

We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to rust.

Magpie

2010-01-17T16:34:00.001+08:00

It's a happiness that finds itself in joy, and a joy that finds itself in love, and a love that finds itself in God.

Starry, starry night

2010-01-16T20:25:00.003+08:00

I think it's quite funny how the Neimoidians of the Trade Federation in Star Wars have a Chinese accented English.

Inner Smile

2010-01-15T21:28:00.001+08:00

I bought this!!

Next up, AT-TE!!!

Augustine

2010-01-15T21:03:00.002+08:00

I haven't really regretted anything in my NUS life so far, but I would probably regret it if I left the school without doing Europe of the Dictators and Singapore Military History. Just like how the 'doctor' (who was probably God manifested) pressed me to choose passion over practicality just before I entered NUS, so now again did Prof Murfett (I hope he reads this) remind me of the choices I had to make, and the reasons for making them.

In any case, today's lecture was quite interesting. He talked about the German surrender of The Great War, and how the German public and even the military were completely taken by surprise when Germany surrendered because no foreign army had stepped into German soil. The legacy? Complete defeat of another became of paramount importance in every subsequent war to drive the point of complete defeat home to the people so that Hitler cannot happen again.

Augustine, oh Augustine. Is it worth all that war just to win? If it is, can you take me back to where it begins?

Bluebells

2010-01-13T21:08:00.002+08:00

I had forgotten how much I love lit. Today reminded me of yesterday.

Think I've come to realise that I am a dying breed of student. For one, I'm still a pen and paper boy. I love, and prefer to write essays, the more the better within a given period. I guess it's the thrill of not knowing whether you'll finish the paper as you're penning your thoughts down. Then there's always the numbness of my thumb to look forward to afterwards, my battle wound, if you would allow me.

Today during lit lecture, the prof said that nowadays, lit doesn't really require quoting and all that, and I realise I still place quite a bit of emphasis on that, similar to history, where I still feel that the dates and events are as important as the argument. It's sort of like an arsenal that you have in your head which amounts to some semblance of concrete fact, instead of plunging full body into the world of argument and subjectivity. Perhaps, it's an anchor of sorts. That's why sometimes I get really frustrated when I can't remember a certain date or venue or event, or get really frustrated at being frustrated on why I care so much.

Unnatural Selection

2009-12-30T23:34:00.003+08:00

Generation Kill is pure genius.

There was this scene, where I can't really remember what was said, but the marines were given an order to go to sleep. Then this one Marine went,

"Sleep? What kind of a fuc*king war is this?!"

haha there are like a thousand more of such quirks all throughout!!

United States of Eurasia

2009-12-28T14:14:00.003+08:00

Seems like I've been quite preoccupied with war during this holidays. I have,

Re-watched Band of Brothers
Watching Generation Kill
Watched a Nat Geo Series on World War II titled 'Apocalypse'
Watched a History Channel Series called "Generals at War"
Read "10 Days to D-Day"
Read "The Battle for Singapore"
Went on the 'War on Wheels' WWII tour around Singapore
Constructed 1 Tiger and 1 Sherman Tank + 1 Normandy Landing Craft + Shit load of infantry
Started to plan a 2010 trip around Europe to visit all the war sites

kthxbai.

Chips and Shit 2009 Results

2009-12-27T15:49:00.002+08:00

After much (and a delayed) collation of results and upon further assessment, the C&S team has finally come up with the list of winners for this year's competition. On behalf of the team, I would like to congratulate all the winners, and till next year, rock on!

Song Of The Year

Young Adult Fiction - The Pains of Being Pure At Heart
Resistance - Muse
Unfinished Business - White Lies
Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
I'm Outta Time - Oasis

Winner: Young Adult Fiction - The Pains of Being Pure At Heart

Album Of The Year

The Resistance - Muse
Dig Out Your Soul - Oasis
The Pains of Being Pure At Heart - The Pains of Being Pure At Heart
In and Out of Control - The Raveonettes
White Lies - To Lose My Life

Winner: The Resistance - Muse

Band Of The Year

White Lies
Muse
Coldplay
Oasis
Anberlin

Winner: Muse

Gig Of The Year

Anberlin @ Baybeats
Coldplay @ The Indoor Stadium
Oasis @ The Indoor Stadium

Winner: Coldplay

Act That Should Come Down To Singapore

The Arcade Fire
U2
White Lies
Taking Back Sunday
Starsailor

Winner: The Arcade Fire

Cult Status Achieved By A Song

Everlong - Foo Fighters
Wake Up - The Arcade Fire
Creep - Radiohead
Dakota - Stereophonics
Hysteria - Muse
Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

Winner: Wake Up - The Arcade Fire

- The C&S Music Awards Team

The United States of Eurasia

2009-12-11T22:10:00.003+08:00

" How could anyone ever know of the price paid by soldiers in terror, agony and bloodshed if they'd never been to places like Normandy, Bastogne or Hagenau?"

David Webster

Chips and Shit 2009

2009-12-10T16:58:00.003+08:00

People of the world,

The annual Chips and Shit Music Awards is back again! Into it's third year now, the organisers have taken out some of the past years' categories, but have introduced spanking new ones. After much deliberation and careful assessment, the team has come up with the 2009 list of nominations for the 3rd Annual Chips and Shit Music Awards.

Song Of The Year

Young Adult Fiction - The Pains of Being Pure At Heart
Resistance - Muse
Unfinished Business - White Lies
Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
I'm Outta Time - Oasis

Album Of The Year

The Resistance - Muse
Dig Out Your Soul - Oasis
The Pains of Being Pure At Heart - The Pains of Being Pure At Heart
In and Out of Control - The Raveonettes
White Lies - To Lose My Life

Band Of The Year

White Lies
Muse
Coldplay
Oasis
Anberlin

Gig Of The Year

Anberlin @ Baybeats
Coldplay @ The Indoor Stadium
Oasis @ The Indoor Stadium

Act That Should Come Down To Singapore

The Arcade Fire
U2
White Lies
Taking Back Sunday
Starsailor

Cult Status Achieved By A Song

Everlong - Foo Fighters
Wake Up - The Arcade Fire
Creep - Radiohead
Dakota - Stereophonics
Hysteria - Muse
Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

Kindly note that nominations are still open, and suggestions are still welcomed for both Category and Nominees in an already existing category. In addition, you can vote for the existing acts already in the list. The Nomination Period will last fro three days from the date of this post, so please hurry to get your favourite acts in!

*Latest News*
There will be a mystery element in this year's edition of the awards. The organisers are hushed on what it is, but (hint), it involves prizes, kindly donated by our sponsors. More will be revealed as the results day draws nearer.

Till then, keep on rocking peeps!

- The C&S Music Awards Team

The Resistance

2009-12-08T22:34:00.000+08:00

Love is our resistance.

I am currently listening to Muse's new Album, The Resistance, and I dare say that it is such a kaleidoscope of ethereal auditory imagery, that takes your soul and rips it apart. You feel the pain, you feel the agony, you feel the depression, you feel the loneliness, and you feel the sense of hopelessness. At least for the front part of the album.

Going along the journey, which I am inclined to believe that it resembles one Dante or Orwell took in Inferno and 1984, you start to experience a whole other sensation - healing. With soft, melancholy undertones and other-worldly blasts of quiet existence, you realise, that with the inclusion of the second half, the album is actually very nicely framed into a journey of sorts, which is why I make the reference to Dante.

At times, it sounds very much like Queen, in all its theatrical stageplay. At other times, I could see Middle Earth. I think that the use of string instruments has been very compelling in producing this effect, as well as bringing in the Middle Eastern and Indian influence to their sound. Of note, this album continues the Muse sound, and differs little with Absolution or Black Holes and Revelations.

I have listened to the album thrice over now, and in all times, I found something curiously similar. Towards the end of the album, I felt that my heart was so heavy, so burdened and an abysmal vision coloured my eyes and my mind. On all three times, I then frantically tried to search for other, more lighthearted songs on my playlist which could alleviate the pain. For those of you who know me well, you would know that that is not easy.

In any case, at first, I thought it was the experience of what it felt like to die. Surely, the pain, the torture, and yet the alluring estacy were testaments of such a feeling. But no, I grew to realise that it was much more, much deeper, much darker. And then I think it hit me. The torment, the tribulation, the suffering, the distress and the affliction upon me, was not of my own death, but of everyone around me. There is nothing more torturous, woeful and despairing than that. And perhaps therein lies the album's thesis, with the band's muse coming from spirit of the world.

Everyone in the world fighting, and surviving, and living, and loving, and hating, and dying... they are all me, and they are all you. The night has reached its end, and I fear that we will not live, when I observe how the morning arrives.

The Pretender

2009-12-02T12:12:00.000+08:00

"Tottenham did create chances. But every time Robbie Keane or Jermain Defoe got a sight of goal, a red shirt was in the way, usually Nemanja Vidic but also Ritchie De Laet, a young Belgian recruited from Stoke on the advice of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, who proved more than David Bentley's equal at left-back."

-Soccernet.com

Whoohoo!!

Drugs

2009-12-01T10:46:00.000+08:00

Oh, I Buried You Today

2009-11-09T02:21:00.000+08:00

They're back!!!!!!

"You drive me round and round
Until I crash into the stars"

Mushaboom

2009-11-05T22:45:00.001+08:00

"During the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that conditions called war; and such a war, as if of every man, against every man."

Hobbes, Leviathan

There goes the fear

2009-10-21T01:47:00.001+08:00

"The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function: without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends upon it."

- Lt. Ronald Speirs

Sweet Disposition

2009-10-20T00:32:00.000+08:00

"Even from my sick bed, even if you are going to lower me into the grave and I feel something is going wrong, I will get up."

Tonight, he was immortal.

Cast no shadow

2009-10-10T21:28:00.005+08:00

"As much as we don't get on, we don't not get on. He's my brother, that's where it ends. He's the last person in the world I'd go for a drink with - the last person. Seriously. If there was Armageddon tomorrow and I was walking through the nuclear waste of the planet and I saw him coming towards me in the distance, I'd be like, 'Couldn't it have not been someone else? Did it have to be you?' And he would think the same thing." - Noel on Liam

I can't see how anyone can not love the Gallagher brothers of oasis. And I can't see a better expression of love than this.

On the topic of brothers, the hottest brothers on the planet (aside from my brothers and I),

You might be tempted to think this is a girl's blog.

From the stars

2009-09-30T21:34:00.001+08:00

"Let me show you a very cute photo of myself"

Someone, please take a photo of us.

First Love

2009-09-28T22:48:00.002+08:00

Two quotes struck me today. The first is from a reading off the book, "The Glass Palace".

'Dolly,' repeated Rajkumar. 'Dolly'. He could think of nothing else to say, or as much worth saying, so he said the name again louder and louder, until he was shouting. 'Dolly. Dolly.

Reminds me of Napoleon, and his last words on St Helena. Now, whenever I think about this I get sad, because such a great man, the man who required a Battle of The Nations at Leipzig to bring him down, died in obscurity. But perhaps, it is better than being sent to madam guillotine.

The other quote of the day, is off a retarded conversation Alvyn and I were having.

Alvyn rambles on about what a cock his brother is.
Me: Are you sure neither one of you was adopted?
Alvyn: No I don't think so.
*You think it ends here.
Alvyn: At least, I know my brother's not adopted cuz I remember his birth, but I'm not sure about me, cuz I really don't remember much of my birth.

But because he gave me quite a gay, but lovingly written card today, I shall...ah nevermind.

Thunderstruck

2009-09-14T00:43:00.001+08:00

Never in my life have I picked up the phone to, "Hello? Kor Kor Shane?"

I feel blessed.

Audrey, Start the Revolution

2009-09-08T00:51:00.002+08:00

When memories fade in the faulty camera in our minds,
we have each other.
So, whether, you're Audrey, or Rebecca, or Peyton, or Dakota,
or just some girl called you,
you have this guy called I.

Let's start this revolution.

Somewhere only we know

2009-08-28T00:04:00.002+08:00

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again...

How far we've come

2009-08-20T02:37:00.001+08:00

We were watching a different movie.

Grapevine Fires

2009-08-16T00:25:00.000+08:00

And there I knew it would be all right
That everything would be all right

I'll follow you into the dark

2009-08-11T00:47:00.003+08:00

It was much, much more than a nothingness.
It was a silence,
and in that silence,
there was us.
And I thought to myself,
if perhaps, just for that moment,
the universe was conspiring to slow time down,
to give us more time.
And I thought to myself,
this must be perfection.

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
I'll follow you into the dark.

Let's see how far we've come

2009-08-03T11:43:00.001+08:00

And as I felt the strands of hair falling back, I realised that each one was perfect on its own, and I thought to myself, this must be bliss.

Hysteria

2009-07-30T11:30:00.002+08:00

Perhaps in my search for Rebecca, I have not stopped to think that maybe I am Rebecca, and Rebecca is me.

I am Shane's own darkness.

Remember the time

2009-07-25T23:02:00.000+08:00

As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment.

Toothpaste and bathrooms.

Everlong

2009-07-19T00:58:00.001+08:00

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again.

Everlong.

Eastern Glow

2009-07-12T11:46:00.001+08:00

You are my eastern glow.

All the small things

2009-07-11T03:46:00.003+08:00

I thank God for the little circumstances He sends my way. All the small things blossom in full bloom.

We laugh.

Swimming

2009-06-26T11:32:00.002+08:00

Perhaps in the most meaningless of things, we find them to be seeming, and in fact, be the most meaningful.

Soldier's Poem

2009-06-24T23:14:00.003+08:00

Let me romanticise, just for tonight.

Today, I was sergeant Lipton. I held my rifle, and I shuddered. I saw my men, and I felt burden. I saw the enemy, I saw nothing. It is an empty desert, with imaginary targets, and I shoot them down one by one. An invisible stream of blood appears. I crouch behind the air, for I fear the enemy might see me. I drink, only to vomit.

I celebrate, because it is over. I contemplate whether it had ever started. The battle is over, the war is over. My war has begun. Fear.

For there she stands. Rebecca. Her face showing. I can see her. I am not willing to die for her. I will die for her.

A courtly love romance.

The Hardest Part

2009-06-21T12:46:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, when I listen to Ashtar Command (especially 'Into Dust'), I get scared because of their background story. It's more like a curious fear that transcends this world, perhaps literally.

On another note, the past week has solidified my passion and commitment to RAG, so much so that I find joy in the planning and working. I was thinking about it, and at the end of the day, after the competition, all that's left for us is the dismantling of the float, down to every last screw and bolt. But I guess it doesn't really matter, and perhaps all the more meaningful of sorts, because we will be dismantling what we built, RAG, our RAG.

Some Might Say

2009-06-14T18:18:00.002+08:00

I have to use these 3 phrases at least 10 times a day.

1) Sia lah
2) Fierce
3) Say only

On another random note, I think any girl who's called Sally is really lucky. She has exclusive rights to say "don't look back in anger".

Show Stopper

2009-06-14T16:47:00.004+08:00

Seems like Prof Tommy Koh was always a fashionista.

If you're wondering about this post, I saw him and his wife at the esplanade yesterday and felt inspired.

Fleur de Saison

2009-06-14T16:39:00.000+08:00

Emilie Simon
Her songs remind me of Paris.

Just my imagination

2009-06-13T03:30:00.001+08:00

"'I have had my time at Man United. It's time to look forward and £80m is quite a sum of money. This deal is historic,'' said Ronaldo. ''It's flattering when two of the top teams in the world want you to play for them."

Sorry, we don't want you to play for us. I have never wanted you to play for us. Thanks.

Into Dust

2009-06-11T22:53:00.002+08:00

Manchester United is a club I love. And I would say things, things considered to be desecrating by any loyal fan, to preserve what I hold on to dearly. You say you want to leave. I say I've never wanted you here. It's not that you are a bad player, you are one of the best. You are not the best, as your encounter at Barcelona should have taught you well. You do, however, have a bad character, and that, for me, poses a threat to the integrity of the club. You are a compromise. This club is founded and maintained by people like Sir Bobby Charlton, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Roy Keane, Ole Gunner Solskjaer and Sir Alex Ferguson, who above all else, possess a raw commitment to the club that will attach them to the end of their careers. They understand the saying that no man is bigger than the club. Your heart is not in the game, is not in the club. You will be forgotten.

So yes, CR, so long, and thanks for all the fish.

Shadowland

2009-06-11T15:48:00.010+08:00

Today's my first 'off' day from RAG in I have no idea how long. Feels kinda weird to be at home (the irony is that I'm on holiday now), think I've grown pretty attached to the central forum, along with the weird computing/programmer/hacker/nuclear scientist/maybe he's just computing RAG's spy guy, who's there 24/7. Currently, Raymond and I are speculating on where he bathes, or if he even bathes at all. Yikes.

Yesterday, I felt really inspired when I saw Rosie's structure coming into place, as well as the roofs. I'm not going to bother explaining what I felt. You had to be there, and you had to be involved to know that peculiar feeling of ecstasy (ah ecstasy). Watching last year's RAG's celebratory video on Monday, all I could think about was, "I want that." Pure. Simple. Raw.

Anyway, I'm waiting for episode 8 of Harper's Island to be downloaded. So, I thought I'd make a few guesses of my own as to who the killer might be.

Chloe Carter - Nah, I don't think it's her. She was away with Cal when some of the killings took place. Plus, she's too pretty.

Cal Vandeusen - He has acted in Epic and Date Movie. No.

Jimmy Mance - Too hot. No.

Danny Brooks and Sully Sullivan - I think they're going to die soon.

Trish Wellington - Nah. Too psychologically damaged.

Henry Dunn - Too goody-too-shoes.

And so, my prediction for the killer is...........

Abby Mills - I think she's the daughter of John Wakefield (hence, the blood percentage match in an earlier episode). It will be revealed that she has a split personality (schizophrenia) and that she is in fact, doing all the killings.

We shall see.

Young Adult Fiction

2009-06-06T18:50:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone!

Please go and visit the NUS Arts Camp 2009 Website!

http://artscamp.nusartsclub.org/

Also, the NUS Arts Rag 2009 website!

http://artsrag09.nusartsclub.org/

yay.

Clocks

2009-06-06T13:29:00.003+08:00

I have been waking up the last few days with a sense of emptiness. Perhaps it's the after effects of pre-camp.

Marching Bands of Manhattan

2009-05-26T14:56:00.001+08:00

Just like a faucet that leaks,
and there is comfort in the sound.

Strawberry Swing

2009-05-25T01:15:00.003+08:00

Feel really sad for Newcastle now because they just got relegated. I don't know a Premiership without them. I guess I'll just console myself tonight that after a one year stint in the championship, the toon army will be back, better than ever, but not Man Utd. :p

Help me, I don't know the way. But I'm trying the life out of me to find it.

Just Dance

2009-05-20T00:06:00.001+08:00

Let me know.

Midnight Boom

2009-05-17T15:27:00.004+08:00

I don't usually bitch about things in such explicit fashion, but there are some things in the world I cannot stand. Photographers with 0 EQ levels is one of them. With the proper aid of (nicely-drawn) diagrams, I shall attempt to explain what happened that night.

For the whole night, mr 0 EQ was hogging the front of the stage. As you can see from the picture, it is hard for ANYONE to take any photo of the stage without including him in it. He would not move, and we're not talking about 10-20mins, we're talking about 4-5 hours. I had a headache, and had not eaten all day. Now him. Thus, most of my shots turned out like this.

And when they didn't include him, the photos looked quite uneven, because I had to aim my shot high enough to avoid his cap. Which leads me on to another point. How in the world do you shoot with a cap on?!

Okay sorry but there are somethings in this world which are just......ugh.

Farewell to the Fairground

2009-05-06T21:55:00.001+08:00

Today felt surreal.
Today felt like the past year didn't happen.
Today felt like family.
Today felt like smiles.
Today felt like home.
Today felt like love.
Today felt like yesterday.

Keep on running, cuz there's no place like home.

The Magic Position

2009-05-02T01:49:00.001+08:00

After creating the A1A guys quiz, Kelvin had the following to comment:

chez joey says: (1:46:08 AM)
haha this guy ccalled wijie went to do it

chez joey says: (1:46:13 AM)
LOL

chez joey says: (1:46:17 AM)
and he got a kelvin ong

chez joey says: (1:46:20 AM)
fu*ker haha

The Price of Love

2009-05-02T00:10:00.001+08:00

Do me a favour. Next time, just don't pull me out from the abyss. Nothingness is better than sorrow.

Fly

2009-04-23T01:25:00.001+08:00

SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE :D

Waiting for the rapture

2009-04-20T19:01:00.003+08:00

"Between the click of the light, and the start of a dream."

A lot happens in between. Last night was a prime example. As I switched off the lights and was about to go to sleep, I saw a small figure sitting on my bed. And suddenly, a thought entered my mind; when it's all said and done, beneath all of us there is only one thing - fear. But this time, I did not feel it. Instead, a wave of familiarity and calmness washed over, and I grew more excited than scared as I switched the lights back on.

It was her. Plain. Simple. Beautiful. Perfect. Her.
My daughter.

I had not seen her in a while. The last time she time travelled was all the way back on 24th February 2005. It was a brief encounter then (it is described on this blog on a post of that date), and for almost 4 years I have longed so dearly to see her again. She was about 4 to 5 this time round, with a sleepish grin on her face, as if knowing how happy I was to see her again. I hugged her tightly, as if it would be my last. Letting go, I asked her how she had been. She told me that we had just come back from disneyland and that she had the time of her life and she begged me to remember to take her there one more time when I grew up.

I don't know what it was, but she seemed closer this time, as if she was really going to be permanently stuck in this moment. She then told me that her mother had showed her pictures of me singing her song when I was this age, then she said, "I love you", and wrote "I'll see you soon" on my arms.

White flashes.
Then, nothing.

You're so damn hot

2009-04-19T17:01:00.003+08:00

Perhaps it's because of the heat, last night, I dreamt that the world was burning to the ground (literally). On a totally not-so-relevant note, I wish to dedicate "You're so damn hot" by Ok Go to the weather, Ivan Lee, Wei Kee Tan and my kettle, and "You're so last summer" by Taking Back Sunday to Jin Shi and Poh Siang.

Won't get fooled again

2009-04-14T00:19:00.000+08:00

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
No, no!

The Who, I will always and forever heart.

Rebecca

2009-04-11T17:25:00.002+08:00

On the note of the last post, many people have asked me who Rebecca is.

Let me clarify this a bit, Rebecca is Rebecca. She is fear. She is love.

Set Fire to the Third Bar

2009-04-11T17:22:00.003+08:00

I love Taking Back Sunday's 'Louder Now' album, Snow Patrol's 'Run', Death Cab for Cutie's "Plans" album and Starsailor's "On the Outside" album. But there's this fear... this fear I know all too well.

Rebecca.

I'm Outta Time

2009-04-09T00:55:00.002+08:00

Today as we sat at burger king, we

1) Laughed
2) Made Plans
3) Laughed some more
4) Made bigger plans

and I grew really scared at one point, because everything that we were talking about seemed so real, and I could see it happening soon. I was scared, because we were growing up, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

p.s. I heart you class guys.

Vegas two times

2009-04-06T23:46:00.001+08:00

I always knew someone would recognise my love for Iago one day.

By Janus, I think not.

Teenage Queen

2009-04-06T21:49:00.001+08:00

Julie, Julie on a another day, you know it really isn't far away,
that I'm longing to be with you.

Champagne Supernova

2009-04-06T01:27:00.002+08:00

Tonight, in line with the Oasis' gig and Man Utd's title winning performance, I only have one question to ask,

"Where were you while we were getting high?"

Aly Walk With Me

2009-03-30T23:41:00.002+08:00

There have been too many thoughts and too little time in the past few weeks to compose everything here, so in the spirit of James Joyce, I shall invoke the stream of consciousness. As always, this is going to be dysfunctional, and would probably not make sense.

Coldplay's gig could have been my one final gig before I died. In two words, musical anarchism.

Through Food Hunt and Beach Fiesta, I've come to really respect all the O Comm members and helpers, because to me, I do see anything in it for them, and yet, they still give their heart and soul into the project. Golden.

On the other hand, I think you're the biggest bitch I have ever met, and unfortunately, known. How could you say something like that about someone? I mean, I call Alvyn or Kelvin or Raymond or Weikee a bitch, tell Yongkang to "stop whining you bitch", but they know I mean it in an affectionate sense (right?). But you, oh my goodness...

I got accepted for PGP next sem, so now I'll at least be staying legitimately.

Raymond has paid me for the stereo but I have yet to pass it to him.

Alvyn is broke and needs a bailout.

Ben and Yongkang owe me pictures.

I had a $550 Waraku dinner last night. (of course, I didn't pay. If I had that kind of money I would bail Alvyn out...cough say cough only)

I am super burnt. (metaphorically as well, because Ivan went to change his profile pic of me and him to him alone :( )

Exams are in less than a month. Reminds me of a song, "on the bright side, she could choke". I have no idea why.

retarded conversation of the day:
*it starts to rain*
Shane: shit, it's raining.
Alvyn: no lah, it's not really rain.
Shane: yar lah, I mean, it's totally snow lah.

Beautiful Day

2009-03-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

I'm staring the Kraken right down its abyss.
I smell its stench.
I feel my fear.

And I smile,
my goodness do I smile.

You're safe child, you are safe.

Walking in the Sun

2009-03-11T21:06:00.002+08:00

The 5 minutes between 5.15pm and 5.20pm today were the best 5 minutes of my year thus far.

made me feel like the one.

Pieces of the people we love

2009-02-28T21:55:00.003+08:00

I felt really sad today.
Was taking a walk down haji lane, when it hit me, that the place wasn't what it used to be.
There was a time when I called the lane home, where I felt belonged.
Now, I don't recognise the place, nor do I recognise the people.
But the thing that really made me depressed was when I saw groups of youngest cam-whoring in the lane with dslrs.

I hate that having a dslr is now becoming (or has become) a fad. I hate that haji lane has become a place to be seen, and not felt.

sigh.

Twenty-Twenty Surgery

2009-02-26T14:15:00.003+08:00

I think you're trying too hard to fit in with river currents.
Everyone can see that you're drowning.

You're so sensitive, I am a machine.

My Blue Heaven

2009-02-26T01:35:00.003+08:00

My Blue Heaven

"We swing and we sway
As this tiny voice in
My head starts to sing
You're safe, child, you are safe."

Lust Lust Lust

2009-02-20T19:59:00.011+08:00

Recently, I've been on this musical rampage for bands with two people in them. I didn't realise this trend till a few days ago, when I was on the bus, listening to the Raveonettes. Anyway, I guess it all started with,

The White Stripes
I guess my all time favourite from Meg and Jack is still Seven Nation Army. But I thought Icky Thump (album) was quite the rock fest as well, and it really didn't disappoint for audiophiles world wide.

Moving a bit into progressive rock, I found The Kills sometime last year, with their album, Midnight Boom.

I first got hooked on to U.R.A. Fever. Although the whole album took quite some time to get used to, I managed to find gems in Black Balloon and M.E.X.I.C.O.

Last year, I also found this band, of which the guy and girl were together, broke up, and then got together again. The Submarines.

Hope, Brighter Discontent and This Conversation are some of favourites. Guess I like listening to their indie folk (almost) when I want a quieter sound.

Pumping the beats up, we have smash sensation, The Ting Tings (of which I was very sad that I didn't get to go to their gig).

Although I do like the original version of their songs, like That's Not My Name and Great DJ, I really love the acoustic session to bits! I like the rave bit at the end of TNMN as well. Plus, along with the Raveonettes, I think they have great fashion sense.

Lastly, my current "in" band now, The Raveonettes! Seriously, I can't stop going on about them; from their fashion revolution to musical genius, they're simply awesome.

I don't say this very often for bands, but their entire album Lust Lust Lust, is one of the albums for our time, at least in the progressive scene. Blush and With My Eyes Closed were the two songs that got me hooked. Another album for our time is The Runaway Found, but that's another story for another time.

On the same topic of couples, I finally had a date this Valentine's!! :D

Looks like lonely_boy is lonely no more.
Till next time,

xoxo,
gossip girl

Black Balloon

2009-02-12T20:05:00.001+08:00

I've stood in a thousand street scenes
just around the corner from you
on the edge of a dream that you have
has anybody ever told you, it's not coming true?

Farewell, my black balloon.

With my eyes closed

2009-02-11T00:13:00.002+08:00

I close my eyes, to hurt you, to live you.
It was never meant to be for me

Blush

2009-02-09T21:36:00.002+08:00

I like romanticising the Joker.
But at the end of the day, I am quite convinced I am Batman.
like. seriously.

Total Trash

2009-02-06T00:29:00.002+08:00

Organised Chaos.

My goodness, it is so beautiful.

On the bright side, she could choke

2009-01-30T00:36:00.004+08:00

Tonight I feel scared and sad.
It sounds extremely retarded, but today was the second time I teared while reading my popular culture notes. Shane, oh Shane, you were born in the wrong time.
This post will be dysfunctional and will contain ramblings with no coherence whatsoever.
I did warn you.
I feel scared because I don't know how much I've changed since 5 years ago. Essentially, I want to be the same person, yet, I want to grow in many ways. Help me.
I felt sad tonight, because in many ways, I feel that I have let Samuel, Pearl, Samantha and Cheryl down. I don't know why. Their friendship is an anchor in my life, and yet I do not tell or show them.
I think, in the past 5 years, I have let many people down.

The Sound

2009-01-27T09:41:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, Shane's 4th Law is born.

Death and all his friends

2009-01-25T20:54:00.002+08:00

This post is about finding song in death.

My favourite set of lyrics on death: "Love is watching someone die" by Death Cab for Cutie.

One last song before the world blasts into oblivion: "World, hold on" by Bob Sinclair.

If the world, through some way, revives: "One More Time" by Daft Punk.

Idealised Death: "The Leaver's Dance" by The Veils.

A way to stop death: "Wake up" by The Arcade Fire.

My funeral song: "Dakota" by Stereophonics.

Escaping Death: "No Cars Go" by The Arcade Fire.

Death on the battlefield: "Soldier's Poem" by Muse.

Death of Youth: "Soco Amaretto Lime" by Brand New.

Time and Confusion

2009-01-17T22:05:00.001+08:00

SARAH FANG WELCOME BACK BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! :D

Now, it's a party.

Pieces of the people we used to love

2009-01-11T22:40:00.002+08:00

Dreams.

We have them. We forget them. All dreams are different. All dreams are the same. The dreams I speak of are not of the ambition sphere, but rather, of the videoistic kaleidoscope of fuzzy, if not hazy, images that float in wild abandon when we sleep. Dreams are not the same as nightmares, for if they were, I would pity the latter, because she would be a subset. And she does not deserve such a status.

People say that we dream of the things we think of most during the day. People say we dream of the things we worry about. People say that dreams are a premonition of the future. People say that dreams are a tapestry of history, coming back to haunt us. People. What do they know. Dreams are not nightmares.

My dreams are as they can only be, dreams. My dreams are of demons and vampires. My dreams are of werewolves and women in white. My dreams are of possessions, and yellow eyes, of ghouls and trolls, of zombies and the undead. My dreams are of the woman in black, of Rebecca.

People say they are frightful. People say my room is haunted. People say that I am disturb(ing)ed. People say. People ignore the fundamental fact, that dreams follow no other law, but to fade away under the flood of light.

People. What do they know.

This Conversation

2009-01-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:50:38 PM)
no but i can imagine if we btoh were walking together, or eating at the deck together

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:50:42 PM)
and he walks past

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:50:59 PM)
we would have a common understanding that prbly result in a laughter of some sort

Shane says: (10:51:51 PM)
hahaha

Shane says: (10:52:06 PM)
i think we arm chio until stomach ache lor

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:52:37 PM)
hahhaa

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:52:39 PM)
arm chio

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:52:42 PM)
wtf

Shane says: (10:53:05 PM)
i don't know how to spell arm lah

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:53:18 PM)
it sounds right la

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:53:20 PM)
but usually

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:53:22 PM)
i will see

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:53:23 PM)
um chio

Shane says: (10:53:49 PM)
yeah i thought of that too, but um will read like urm...

Shane says: (10:53:50 PM)
right not

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:12 PM)
yah

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:12 PM)
right

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:17 PM)
hmm

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:39 PM)
arm chio

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:49 PM)
makes me feel like there's not tone to it

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:58 PM)
its like a monotone reading

Shane says: (10:56:09 PM)
yeah actually i agree with you

Shane says: (10:56:14 PM)
like no omph!

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:56:18 PM)
ah yes

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:56:22 PM)
that's the word

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:56:26 PM)
no oomph!

Shane says: (10:56:45 PM)
this is so going up on my blog

Pick a part that's new

2009-01-01T22:54:00.003+08:00

In a way, I was afraid to start on this post, because what it means is an affirmation of a beginning. It is not necessarily a new one, but regardless, the factory production line churns to life with a manufactured sound. For those of you who know me, change is not my friend.

In 2008, there were 2 main questions that I sought to answer. The first, was whether an idealist can survive in the world. The second, what joy is.

For the former, 2008 was a year where I solidified my beliefs in idealism. There was distinct moments and events which helped in reinforcement, all of which I give thanks for. There were, however, boulders which came smashing down, and left me for dead. So to answer the question, I do not know for sure if an idealist can survive in the world, but I do know, that for the simple constructs of the idealists which becomes reality, it is fully worth it to continue to try and hope.

As to what joy is, it is not happiness. Both are of a different nature and do not cross paths. I cannot tell you what joy is, nor will I tell you that it is something you have to experience it yourself. I will tell you, however, that it is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It is suffering, it is faith, it is love.

This year, I believe that there will be numerous battles on the fields of idealism. The lush greenness will be drenched with a sea of ruby red, and all hope will have seemed to be lost. But there will be morning, and there will be light. I believe that my beliefs are going to be tested, and the same question that I asked at the beginning of 2008 will come back with more venom.

This is going to be the year where we will see if Rebecca, Peyton, the woman in black, Talleyrand, Bismarck and Napoleon can exist. The white wash from the Battle of the Atlantic will crash in bitterness onto my face. I will feel the freeze of numerous retreats from Russia. I will see Nelson's flag 'England expects every man will do his duty' raised at Trafalgar. I will be haunted by Rebecca. Idealism will be epitomised in Peyton. I will fear the woman in black. And most preciously, I will love and be loved by the people whom I cherish. They know who they are.

God has been good in 2008, and I do not see any reason why not to trust His plan for me in 2009. I take comfort in the knowledge that if my God, Jesus Christ, is for me, then no one can be against me. I know I say this almost every year, but, Faith, Hope and Love will be enough.

"I do not know exactly what we must believe, but I believe that we must believe in something!"

We can all be kings over the parkway.

Best wishes for 2009.

Baby Please Come Home

2008-12-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

Local Boy In The Photograph

2008-12-20T23:13:00.003+08:00

And we were lit by kerosene
And we were lit by acetylene
And we walked under neon skies
You know it made me wonder why
Why all the frequencies combine
And form a cleaner, brighter light
And we filled our florescent sails
It led to sodium-scarred wailing weeks

Canvey Island

2008-12-20T18:14:00.001+08:00

Do you know a place where no cars go?

No Cars Go

2008-12-18T21:32:00.003+08:00

There is a fundamental conflict between idealism and social solidarity. Both portray to be singular and exclusive, and there does not seem to be a way for them to coexist together. In the definitive sense, both elements crash in a fierce ferocity. On does not lead to the other. Idealism seeks to expound the idea that it is not part of this world, while social solidarity yearns to unite people for a common purpose in this world. In a sense, social solidarity leads on to conformity, which might be an idealist's Iago.

The problem with an idealist is that he has too vast a number of constructs in his head, each a waiting time bomb, ready to explode at the pressure of a crack. There is an idealist's world, and then there is the manifest and physical world. Another problem arises here. A main pillar of idealism is hope. But it ends there. Therefore, even his constructed world is not possible by worldly standards, or for the matter of fact, his own. However, the idealist cannot realise this, because of who he is. Complimentarily, it is curious enough that ignorance might be idealism's partner.

Allow me to shed some light on the constructs of an idealist. This is how a realist would tell the following events. At the start of my academic year, I had to go for my medical check-up. I went to a doctor's office at the end of the hallway, which I had found hard to find. During the check-up, he asked me many questions not relating to my body or my health. When the examination was over, he held me back by talking about life. Conversely, this is how I saw it. After the initial tests, I was waiting to go for the doctor's medical check-up. There was a girl in front of me in the queue, but for some reason, my number flashed first. It was flashing a room I could not see in my immediately surroundings, and I had to walk quite a distance down the hallway to finally find a small room at the end of a long corridor. Upon entering, the doctor apologised for the location of the room. He asked me about my life, no, he asked me about life. At the end, he gave me what possibly was the single most valuable thing I had learned all semester - Do not ever lose your idealism.

Thus, to me, on that day, I went into a doctor's office that never existed, talked to a man that was probably God or some form of heavenly divine intervention who gave me words that were golden, and which from that instance I hung on to for dear life. The office has probably disappeared now. Of course, you might call me a functionalist, or even in delusion, but I am sorry to disappoint you by saying that I do not care, simply because of an affirmation of who I am. Now, I wonder if you can say the same thing.

Idealism is the same way I saw Talleyrand live again, 150 years after his death. He was fighting for dear France, pursuing determinedly for legitimacy and urging the coalition not to fear victory. Moderation was his sword, humility was his shield. I heard him speak, and I shivered in fear, trembled in awe, shouted in triumph, and cried at his departure. Through me, he lived again, at least for a while.

Thus, one might be able to experience what goes through the idealist's construct. He does not want to be part of this world, simply because he is not part of this world. His words might be childish and ignorant, but at these times of propounding his theories and visions, he is in bliss, and the world holds no place of weight. On the other hand, he will frequently fall from his flights of fancy, because chains will bind him no matter how high he flies. It is a fundamental realism which the idealist has to grapple with at some point. Realism is the arrow that pierced Achilles. But being a true idealist, he would be able to fly again, through careful maneuver which only the individual would know how to.

Therefore, by a natural conclusion, idealism will probably not lead to social integration, and consequently, group solidarity. Again, by this equation, the idealist is rejected from the world. Thus, we might see that the exclusion is a two-way propulsion, and not singularly from the idealist alone. He is ostracised and ridiculed by people who cannot understand, or choose not to understand.

It is the idealist in me that believes people should accept me for my genuine whole-self, and not expect a mask or a facade at every curtain opening. They should accept me, and not conform to group views and pressures which otherwise might blossom something beautiful. It is the idealist in me that believes I am going to know who my true love is through the lyrics of the song. One immediately see what precarious lines I thread upon. One wrong step, or one step, might destroy me. It is the idealist in me that believes in enlightened monarchic militarism, that Rebecca is real and around me all the time, in Lavinia and Lucia, in Amelia and Peyton, in the Ancient Mariner, in Iago, in the Woman in Black, in Wentworth's letter to Anne, in Trafalgar, in Bastongue, in Normandy, in Leizpig, in reliving battles of old and feeling the tearing up of my skin from the battle scars, in black, and in white, and in love.

It is the idealist in me that believes that there will be at least one person who has read the entire post to this word.

Rapid Hope Loss

2008-12-08T00:05:00.003+08:00

The Graveyard took care of Nobody.
I know a place that will take care of me.

Poison

2008-12-02T01:47:00.000+08:00

Please marry me.

Our Wasted Lives

2008-11-25T12:12:00.003+08:00

To quote one of my kids,

"it is 1.34am
someone, somewhere inside me
is still fighting the _____ Wars
time in desert: 1573 days, 1 hour, 34 mins, 14 secs
no. of recruits: 1
hello, suck.

I might evaporate soon
but I'm still in the desert
fighting."

Stone

2008-11-22T17:31:00.003+08:00

This was taken from Lucas' blog. I was quite touched.

****

Robin: how do you do this ted? how do you sit out here all night, on the roof, in the cold, and still have faith your pumpkin's gonna show up?

Ted: well, i'm pretty drunk. heh. look i know the odds are the love of my life isnt going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at two forty three in the morning, but. its not about the odds. It's about believing. This girl, she... she represents something to me, I don't know... hope.

omg this post is so shane

***

(:

Cath

2008-11-20T22:30:00.001+08:00

Soon everybody will ask what became of you.

Cuz your heart was dying fast

And you didn't know what to do.

The centre cannot hold.

The Enemy

2008-11-12T23:06:00.004+08:00

I need someone to go with me this time.

The Sound of Settling

2008-11-06T21:20:00.004+08:00

He struck me as one of upmost vanity; a manner of courtesy and warmth of hospitality so uncommon, yes, but an epicurean taste for life. Beyond the luxuries dawned upon his aristocratic body, there was a hidden aura of a different kind of pride; a quiet one. It was fierce, it was cunning, it was intelligent, it was manipulative, it was brilliant. And all those qualities would always be him.

He floated to my side, and spoke in the firmest of whispers, "what would you like to find out?"

The full force of a hurricane blasted all thoughts out of my mind and it was left in a devastation of nothingness. The intensity was so fierce, I thought I was in 1789 again.

A different time. A same time.

I could not remember what I asked, but to which he gave the following reply, "I want people to find out what clothes I liked to wear, what food I liked to eat. All the trivialities of my life, right up to the colossal institutions that hold up more than my mere individual self, I want the people to want to find out with a ferocity of passion."

He asked me about my life, and I told him. And in his reply, in those few, simple words, he changed everything.

"Surely there must be more to it."

The sound of settling has to be murdered.