A heavy hearted work of stagge
Last night, I dreamt of Manderley again...
I remember, back in my JC days, Mrs Teo made a comment in lit class one day. She said, " You all are the best, because I believe in you all." She was proud of us. It was never a pride of a boastful or arrogant nature, but a quiet pride. It was silent, yet you somehow knew it was there, you somehow knew that it was from a sincere and believing heart, and you somehow knew that it was true, and maybe, just maybe, it was enough to see you through.
Last night, I had only one emotion that filled my heart; Pride.
I was immensely proud of Chiang Lin, as a father to his daughter. I can't really explain the full nature of it, but I guess I finally understand and appreciate why Miss Kwok still calls us her 'Kids'. To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised. She delivered her lines so confidently, so eloquently, and so articulately that I was left smiling to myself everytime she had finished. I was captivated and really impressed. At the end of her play, I applauded. There were 7 or so people on stage, but I suppose for me, there was only one person I was clapping for. More than that, I was also very happy to see the class support for Chiang Lin, kind of a reminiscent of 04A1A. Tiak Hui and Sutsia were there, as well as Denise and Jessica the night before (from what they told me), and I guess I'm touched when I see such support because I remember how important it was for us back then, and even now. My class had seen me through lots of shit, and hell and high water couldn't touch me as long as they were there. I am also reminded of A1A when I see them celebrating each other's birthdays, teasing each other(leonard) in class and stuff like that. It's still early in their journey, but I'm glad that they've found their way in each other. So yes, I hope that you guys, my 'kids', will know that I am extremely proud of you all, for what it's worth.
As Miss Kwok made her way up to stage for her speech, I stole a quick glance at the class guys seated next to me. They were applauding, eyes trained on Miss Kwok walking up the stage. I think it was at that moment I wanted to cry. I was proud of them. I was proud of who we have grown to be, but more than that, I was proud of what we chose to hold on to. Put the 7 of us into a NYJC classroom setting any day today, and we would act exactly how we would have 2 years ago. We have grown up, yes definitely, but in my eyes, when I stole that glance at them in the theatre, all I saw was a younger us donned in our brown uniforms. Proud, damned proud that we did good afterall, and maybe, just maybe, what we did, what we chose to hold on to, would see through the rest of our lives. I don't say it often enough, but guys, we did good, and I love each and every stinking one of you.
Sometimes a moment hovered, and lingered, and stayed, for much, much more than a moment. And then that moment was gone. I blinked, and we were out of our uniforms. The sound of the applause returned and by then, Miss Kwok was already on stage. Then, a silence. Everything faded into a dullness. Miss Kwok began, and her words were as clear as crystals, each with a shiny resonating effect. As she choked back tears, so did we. And I began to wonder; how did this crazy, hyper active, eccentric, queer woman manage to take up such a special place in our hearts? I was left without answers or confirmations, but a firm knowing, that whoever we had become today, was carefully and dedicatedly moulded by her significantly. I was just so proud to have Miss Kwok as my teacher, my friend, my captain. I took a look at the guys again and smiled to myself. We are, and will always be, her 'kids'.
I blinked, and when my eyes were opened, I saw us in our ny uniforms again.
I don't think I have ever left Nanyang JC.
I remember, back in my JC days, Mrs Teo made a comment in lit class one day. She said, " You all are the best, because I believe in you all." She was proud of us. It was never a pride of a boastful or arrogant nature, but a quiet pride. It was silent, yet you somehow knew it was there, you somehow knew that it was from a sincere and believing heart, and you somehow knew that it was true, and maybe, just maybe, it was enough to see you through.
Last night, I had only one emotion that filled my heart; Pride.
I was immensely proud of Chiang Lin, as a father to his daughter. I can't really explain the full nature of it, but I guess I finally understand and appreciate why Miss Kwok still calls us her 'Kids'. To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised. She delivered her lines so confidently, so eloquently, and so articulately that I was left smiling to myself everytime she had finished. I was captivated and really impressed. At the end of her play, I applauded. There were 7 or so people on stage, but I suppose for me, there was only one person I was clapping for. More than that, I was also very happy to see the class support for Chiang Lin, kind of a reminiscent of 04A1A. Tiak Hui and Sutsia were there, as well as Denise and Jessica the night before (from what they told me), and I guess I'm touched when I see such support because I remember how important it was for us back then, and even now. My class had seen me through lots of shit, and hell and high water couldn't touch me as long as they were there. I am also reminded of A1A when I see them celebrating each other's birthdays, teasing each other(leonard) in class and stuff like that. It's still early in their journey, but I'm glad that they've found their way in each other. So yes, I hope that you guys, my 'kids', will know that I am extremely proud of you all, for what it's worth.
As Miss Kwok made her way up to stage for her speech, I stole a quick glance at the class guys seated next to me. They were applauding, eyes trained on Miss Kwok walking up the stage. I think it was at that moment I wanted to cry. I was proud of them. I was proud of who we have grown to be, but more than that, I was proud of what we chose to hold on to. Put the 7 of us into a NYJC classroom setting any day today, and we would act exactly how we would have 2 years ago. We have grown up, yes definitely, but in my eyes, when I stole that glance at them in the theatre, all I saw was a younger us donned in our brown uniforms. Proud, damned proud that we did good afterall, and maybe, just maybe, what we did, what we chose to hold on to, would see through the rest of our lives. I don't say it often enough, but guys, we did good, and I love each and every stinking one of you.
Sometimes a moment hovered, and lingered, and stayed, for much, much more than a moment. And then that moment was gone. I blinked, and we were out of our uniforms. The sound of the applause returned and by then, Miss Kwok was already on stage. Then, a silence. Everything faded into a dullness. Miss Kwok began, and her words were as clear as crystals, each with a shiny resonating effect. As she choked back tears, so did we. And I began to wonder; how did this crazy, hyper active, eccentric, queer woman manage to take up such a special place in our hearts? I was left without answers or confirmations, but a firm knowing, that whoever we had become today, was carefully and dedicatedly moulded by her significantly. I was just so proud to have Miss Kwok as my teacher, my friend, my captain. I took a look at the guys again and smiled to myself. We are, and will always be, her 'kids'.
I blinked, and when my eyes were opened, I saw us in our ny uniforms again.
I don't think I have ever left Nanyang JC.
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