The Leavers Dance
Bliss.
I woke up with a nagging clutch in my heart today. In some way, I felt as though I was trying, fighting hard not to forget something. On the bus, I plugged in my Ipod, and then it hit me.
I was listening to The Leavers Dance by The Veils, and I realised then, that I was so afraid of letting go. My thoughts drifted back to the first time I heard the song, and all the feelings that accompanied with. For a moment, just for that moment, in the space of 4 minutes, the song shut out all the world had thrown at me. Everything faded into a blackness that wrapped me warmly in her arms. For that fleeting moment, I was not part of this world. I felt so inspired, and at that point, my
idealism didn’t seem so revolutionary, didn’t seem insanity. I felt genuine happiness. In my mind, a thousand idealistic, picture perfect scenarios sprang up, and one by one, I savoured them. It was a delicious feast for crows in a drought. Suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter. The world consisted of The Veils, Berenice, my thoughts, and me.
After the first time, I kept listening to the song repeatedly. There was once where I played it for 7 consecutive times without any pause. Then, I started to get scared. I was afraid that if I were to over listen to it, I would soon tire of the song, and all those feelings would dissolve into void. So, I tried to pace myself.
And then something strange happened. For every other song that I switched to, I felt the life sucked out of me, as though that there was no sense in listening to any other particular song, because it made me so dull and inert. For a time, I felt as though I was listening to noise, rather than a melody. Still, I refused to over gorge on The Leavers Dance. I kept my distance, because I was terrified at the thought of perfection being taken away from me. To each his own, but to me, the song was flawless. It spoke to me, enticed me with worn out caresses, lifted me to the highest reaches of euphoria, and took me out
of this world, even if it was only for a while. Losing this feeling… it was the place I had come to fear the most.
I woke up with a nagging clutch in my heart today. In some way, I felt as though I was trying, fighting hard not to forget something. On the bus, I plugged in my Ipod, and then it hit me.
It didn’t leave. It was there. It took me out again, and I was lost in the blackness of nothingness.
Bliss.
I woke up with a nagging clutch in my heart today. In some way, I felt as though I was trying, fighting hard not to forget something. On the bus, I plugged in my Ipod, and then it hit me.
I was listening to The Leavers Dance by The Veils, and I realised then, that I was so afraid of letting go. My thoughts drifted back to the first time I heard the song, and all the feelings that accompanied with. For a moment, just for that moment, in the space of 4 minutes, the song shut out all the world had thrown at me. Everything faded into a blackness that wrapped me warmly in her arms. For that fleeting moment, I was not part of this world. I felt so inspired, and at that point, my
idealism didn’t seem so revolutionary, didn’t seem insanity. I felt genuine happiness. In my mind, a thousand idealistic, picture perfect scenarios sprang up, and one by one, I savoured them. It was a delicious feast for crows in a drought. Suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter. The world consisted of The Veils, Berenice, my thoughts, and me.
After the first time, I kept listening to the song repeatedly. There was once where I played it for 7 consecutive times without any pause. Then, I started to get scared. I was afraid that if I were to over listen to it, I would soon tire of the song, and all those feelings would dissolve into void. So, I tried to pace myself.
And then something strange happened. For every other song that I switched to, I felt the life sucked out of me, as though that there was no sense in listening to any other particular song, because it made me so dull and inert. For a time, I felt as though I was listening to noise, rather than a melody. Still, I refused to over gorge on The Leavers Dance. I kept my distance, because I was terrified at the thought of perfection being taken away from me. To each his own, but to me, the song was flawless. It spoke to me, enticed me with worn out caresses, lifted me to the highest reaches of euphoria, and took me out
of this world, even if it was only for a while. Losing this feeling… it was the place I had come to fear the most.
I woke up with a nagging clutch in my heart today. In some way, I felt as though I was trying, fighting hard not to forget something. On the bus, I plugged in my Ipod, and then it hit me.
It didn’t leave. It was there. It took me out again, and I was lost in the blackness of nothingness.
Bliss.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home