conflicts

ever experienced a time when you and your parents' wishes for you conflicted? well, as most of my close friends would know, i want to be a teacher in the future, to go back to nyjc to teach. right now, i'm not sure what, but it's gonna be either lit or european hist. my parents, on the other hand, force me to do stuff i don't wanna do. i know they mean well, and i love them for giving me all these oppotunities and advice, but i just hate it when they treat me as though i don't know what the crap i'm gonna do out of my life. my dad has dreams of me going into the military. not short term 2 year dreams, but 20, 30 year dreams. when i tell him i don't really see myself in the army for more than 2 years, he just goes all quiet, the excitement is gone, his facial expression changes. he accepts what i want, but deep down inside i know he has a deep disappointment. i am useless. deep down inside i feel like crying out and hitting myself, because seriously, i feel like hell. i am sorry, mom and dad, i am so freaking useless..