Thursday, December 08, 2005

leaving on a tekong ferry

The Lord is and will be my strength. I will seek refuge in Him, for he is my steady rock, my salvation, my energy. Lord, i thank you.

At times of depression, i will also think about her as well. the hope of seeing her again someday will be a fuel, at times when the lamp is dim, and all hope seems lost.

If anything happens to me, yea ok mark, you can have my drumset. haha.

a hope still aflame in the heart

It's been 3 weeks. 3 weeks since i decided to plunge myself into depression; note: my own stupid decision. things would have been so different, if only i had the guts to speak, to act, to ask, to be brave. Sadly, and painfully, i did not. i did not. i did not. now, i have to live through this living hell every day, not knowing anything at all save fragile hints and hopeful guesses. i haven't forgotten her, nor do i think i will anytime soon. this is a thing with me. once i like someone, my mind will stick to that person for a long time, until the dimness where all hope is really diminished. i am still searching, i am still finding, i am still hoping. and now with army coming along, i think i will have to endure this daily torture of not knowing this girl's name and not seeing her face, more so painful than the sweating i have to go through. i don't even know what i am typing now, because my mind is simply too preoccupied with her. i cannot think. i can only feel. when the soul seeks to hear, when all is hushed, and the heart listens. i guess coleridge really did know what he was talking about. all i ask, all i really want, is to find her.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

My Prom Song- Hands Down

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep
This air is blessed, you share with me
This night is wild, so calm and dull
These hearts they race from self-control
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours, to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer
The words are hushed, let's not get busted,
Just lay entwined here undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions..
hey did you get some?
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close
they can't hear, so we can get some.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours, to fill or burst
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer
Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair
That you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together
The streets were wet and the gate was locked
So I jumped it, and let you in
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew that you meant it
That you meant it, that you meant it
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it.

scenario two

hello peeps. so after the previous depressing fiasco, we shall now move on to the lighter side of what may potential happen at prom, depending on your own potency (at this point, please get the 'always look on the bright side of life' song out of your head... So 5 years ago).

1) ok, to get the person's attention, and no, we're moving away from the screaming-in-your-face method. Dashboard's For you to notice. so, you start to flash an idea in your head, where you would impress her, with every single thing you say. everything would come out brave and smooth; you'd be charming, so much so that she'd want to call you. but for now, you gotta play it cool. don't act all desperate and jerkish by swarming your body all over her(like...so wrong). for now, you stand at a corner, and look so longingly, waiting, for her to notice you.

2) Girls, if you wanna reject your guys, here's one for you. Taking Back Sunday's Your're so last summer. straight up, let me give you the lowdown, 'boys like you are dime a dozen', 'you're a touch overrated'. after hearing this, the guy will just go like 'if i'm just bad news, then you're a liar'. thereafter, the guy will give a bitchy humph! and trod off like elton john.

3) Guys, come on, we gotta admit it, we dress for the girls. sure some of you will be dressing for the guys, cus erm...you wanna impress them? or whatever. i mean, whatever floats your boat man. anwyay, don't panic, don't freak if you think you look like shit, unless of course, you are dressed in a halloween costume...erm yea you get the idea. YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE SHIT!!! REMEMBER TO BREATHE(by dashboard). "So sneakers or flipflops?I'm starting to panic.Remember she asked you,"Remember to bre-athe,And every-thing will be o-kay."Okay...Okay...Alright...Alright...Alright...Alright...Alright...Alright..."

4) after a (genuinely) successful night, we end off with U2's Beautiful Day.

good luck to everyone. this isTHE night- don't hold back on anything.

"our doubts are traitors, and makes us lose the good we oft' might win by fearing to attempt"
-Lucio, Measure for Measure

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Senario One

hello boys and girls...ahem ahem....ladies and gentlemen... Prom is finally approaching. the day when girls become women, and boys pluck up whatever pathetic courage they have in their fragile hearts to talk to these new women. i was just thinking about it, (and actually noticing the fact that i'm actually one of these pathetic guys) and basically decidied how screwed i am. haha ok i'm rambling here. anyway, here are some songs that i think little guys like us (my hood) can use for prom. yay.

1) Scream unnecessarily loud (watch donald trump in the apprentice) to Jet's 'Are you gonna be my girl' in front of your girl. this is under the section 'how to get your girl's attention'.
she's so sweet with her get back stare. ok at this point- urm....run.

2) Things start to go bad. what do you do?? please stop shouting 'are you gonna be my girl!!!!!!! at 192184783 decibels. Well I could see, you home with me, but you were with another man, yea! change to another of Jet's song and be a true singaporean Gentlemen.
Cold Hard Bitch

3) Finally we end the successful night with a soulful blues tune, coutersy of the princess of sweetness- Avril Lanvigne. This one's for you guys- So much for my happy ending. rock on!
One Day One Concert One World

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Nicole Tay
My Heroine for the SEA games 2005