Big Fish

just finished watching Big Fish. well actually i had watched it before in the cinema yea so i knew how the story was going to be like. yet, i am surprised at myself once again. i cried, and cried and cried about 20 mintues before the show ended and 10 minutes after the show ended. i couldn't even move, the credits were just rolling past and i didn't even have the energy or will to touch the remote to turn off the vcd player. this was not just crying. this was emotional, painful crying. one that was accompanied by loud wailing and mournful sorrows. Big Fish has taken over Forest Gump in the most tearful movie for me. on my cry-o-meter, Big Fish is a perfect 10/10 cuz i've never cried that much watching a movie before. Forest Gump is 9/10.
what a wimp says you. i say think what you want. i am not ashamed.

escape

sunday 27th feb 2015
a decade after the author, shane koh, started on his book, The human equation, he has finally completed the novel. commented by lovers and critics alike, the public is divided in 2 ways. some say that the novel is too dark for one's liking, that it "sucks the living soul of of your body, then your bones, and finally your thoughts". another reader commented, "there exists no light in this book, not to say that the language isn't brilliant. if it's anything, it's that. however, society just isn't ready for downright depression and well, for the lack of a better word, hell." people on the other side of the wall, however, have a different take on the story. they argued that what shane has brought out in the book is the truth that no one ones to hear, the emotions that no one wants to express, the reality that no one wants to face up to. "the book takes you to hell, and lets you experience the drought, the torture and the pain, before bringing you back up to sunshine again, where the cool breeze once again flows, and then, only then will you begin to appreciate life that much more."
Sunday 6th Feb 2015
just one week after the release of the controversial novel, The human euqation, by widely known author, shane koh, he has unfortunately committed suicide. on his suicide note, shane worte: "i cannot continue on any longer. what i thought would leave me has not left me. the darkness consumes my room even when it's day, when the sun shines brightly outside my apartment. i thought it was over. with the completion of the book i thought it was finally over. these 10 years has been a hellish torture for me. so much depression, so much death, so much negativity. the abyss was my home for the last 10 years. there were moments of warmth and light, but they too, came by less often than not. the sad thing was, i had to remain in the abyss to stay in the mentality for the completion of my book. The human equation was my life for the past 10 years, and ironically now, it is the very thing that ends it. just like i mentioned in my novel, my life is as though a wife waiting for her husband to get back from the war. and then one fine day, she hears the sound of car engines. she runs out to the front lawn to see a military car. she grows estatic, thinking her husband has returned. but no, an unfamiliar in unifrom hands her a letter with his cold, bloodless hands. the wife knows, oh she knows. just like i know. i know now. i enjoy reading virginia woolf. and i quote from her. "Someone has to die, in order that the rest of us should value life more.""

get it

this entry is to highlight some points and to clear the smoke emitting from the cigars. i hope you all will be energized by what i am about to tell you on a white cloth, one pure and clean without a red cross. this is the number 4th time i'm saying the word "to". you are advised to put on some caramel lotion to protect you from the intensity.
this are the type of things we can only dream of having.

here's to us

This is a toast to Alvyn, Wei Kee, Kelvin and I. here's to our stationary and our bookshop which have made our 1st 2 months that much more interesting and fun. here's to them, for bringing us closer together and knowing each other better. here's to the good times.
Drink with me To days Gone by
To the life That used To be
Let the wine of friendship Never run dry
WomenDrink with me
To daysGone by
To the lifeThat usedTo be
At the shrine of friendship
Never say die

warning!

hey guys!!!!!
it's the long entries that are worth reading!!!
don't skip the long entries!!!

again

i saw my daughter again today. she was probably around 6 or 7. she looked the same as the last time i saw her; long black hair, cheerful little face, little white teeth, small hands, small gentle hands, and soft pretty eyes. this time it was she who time travelled. i found out about 2 time travels back that she too could break into the 4th demension. i guess she got it from me. i felt proud, yet sad at the same time.
this time, i was lying on my bed in my room and out of nowhere she appeared, looking a bit flustered from the journey. her cheeks flushed bright pink and she looked around to assess her surroundings, trying to figure out where she was. relief overtook her when she saw me, and the smile that i loved so much flashed on her face and she came running to me screaming "daddy! daddy!" i felt enormously blessed, to be put in such a situation, and such a unique situation at that.
she held something in her hand, and when i asked her about it, she glowed with excitement and got all chirpy. she said, in a rather high pitch, "daddy! daddy! look what i've brought you! lookie here! lookie here! your wedding photos with mummy!" she handed me the photos and it was my turn to glow.
my wife looked simply spectacular and there was nothing to compare. in this case, there was an omission of words such as 'relative' or 'contrast' or 'compare' or 'subjective'. i looked at her face, and stole a laugh, as if knowing again she was the one all along. i guess i'd always known it, just that i didn't believe that such a wonderful thing would happen to me. that such a wonderful girl would fall for me. it was just crazy. i wanted to believe something that was already happening to me.
white flashes. my daughter left without saying goodbye. i didn't blame her. you wouldn't ever know when you would time travel next. what was left were the photographs in my hands.

up up up up down

supposed you had someone who was born blind, could he dream? would he see images of people, buildings, seas, mountains or animals? and most importantly, would he be able to dream in colour? if he couldn't, then techinically, he wouldn't be able to dream in black and white too, is it not, since they too are colours?
and on the other hand if he could dream, would he be dreaming with the images formed from his mind? which would then lead the human race to question- do you dream of/due to the physical and tangible objects you see and interact with everyday, or do you dream of/due to the equations, thoughts, ideas and the intangible scenery that you form in your head?
and why is it that us singaporeans do not go all ballistic with fervour and patriotism when we sing our national anthem, "Majulah Singapura", but yet, when we listen to songs like the Russian Red Army military march and "Rule Britania", and keep in mind that even though we are singaporeans, we feel all ready to go into battle and nationalism compacts our minds? thus, if this keeps up, we would then have to play these songs before we go to war, and of course, before a soccer match starts. simply absurd.
which leads me on to my next point, though i feel that this is open to debate and i would most probably lose, is that when an army goes to war, besides the weapons that the soldiers need to equip themselves with(which is quite an irony and a useless thing, since everything today can be decided by the push of a button), they would also need to be equipped with a good military anthem, one that will inspire them to march forth and not retreat, and also drive them into blind patriotism, leading them not to question the justifications of their killings and fightings but simply committing the act.
on a lighter note, there are new pics on the right hand side of my blog!! yay..haha, yes everyone, a little anti-climax here :)

an encounter

i saw another demon today. this one was not like the rest. somehow it had evolved, or rather it could be of a higher(or actually..lower) order of demons, because i saw it had wings. much like an eagle's, but the wingspan stretched out farther. his face was wrecked bu cuts and scars and blood, black black blood. it was a horrible sight. i shivered and prepared to run. my legs would not move. i stood rooted to the floor. we were staring into each other's eyes and he was seemingly on the verge of winning the game. i wanted to escape. amdist the quick path back home i cried for help, yet knowing there was no one around to help me.
the demon then spoke.
"no one will kiss you, for your lips are dry. no one will hold your hand, for your hands are rough and uncomfortable. no one will lean on your shoulders, for they are too slanted and easy to slip off."
then suddenly, a bright white, shimmering of glory splendor erupted before me. my eyes felt intense pain and i shunned away for the light, eyes still burning from the initial shock. momentarily, i opened my eyes.
i saw an angel. beautiful as the word itself meant. no words to explain. i cannot go futher about the angel, for the words to decribe him are unknown. i saw that he too had wings, but they were pure white and gave off warmth. i felt blood return to my body.
the angel stretched out his arm and smiled at me, he said, " let us banish this demon and all the negativity expelling from it. will you take flight with me? will you trust me?"
i nodded my head and accepted. the demon cried out in agony and vanished, exploding into a thousand fragments of black blood. strangely, the blood stained neither the angel nor i. i looked at the angel and felt rested.
white flashes. then nothing.

my daughter

i time travelled again today. i landed in a room i was unfamiliar with. the room was a bedroom and from the looks of it, it belonged to a child
suddenly, light emerged from the crack of the bottom of the door. i opened it and light flooded the room. i was blinded momentarily. when it felt less painful to open my eyes, i squinted. a hallway stood in front of me. the hallway led to another room and infront of the room at the door, stood a child. the child was a little girl. i shifted my glance for a while, and noticed a framed picture hanging from one of the walls in the hallway. 3 people were in that picture. a man, a woman and a girl. the woman was beautiful and she glowed with pride, pretty in pink. i smiled, as if knowing all along. the man, i soon realised, was myself, at around, 30ish i would say.
i was in my future house. this was my future neighbourhood. this was my family. my wife. my daughter....my daughter was standing right in front of me now. i looked at her. she was beautiful, she was pretty, she was my child. her sleepish expression met my astonishment. she pulled her long black hair back to see the man in front of her clearer. in her right arm, she cradled a teddy bear about the size of her upper body. when she saw me, she tightened the grip, then as if realising some unknown prophersy, she let the bear fall to the floor and ran arms wide open towards me, screaming "daddy! daddy!" she threw herself in my arms and i was overwhelmed.
here i was hugging my daughter, my own, in my arms. waves of emotion rushed over me. tears cascaded down my face, as did hers.
"daddy, you're back! you're back!" the pretty face serenaded to me. before i could say anything, she shouted in the direction of the room, " mommy! mommy! daddy's back! daddy's back!" immediately i heard footsteps and a woman, drenched in tears appeared at the doorway.
she joined in the hug, crying "you're back! you're back!"
"where am i? i mean, my future self?" i asked.
suddenly, it was as if all sound was sucked from the room. the 2 girls of my life became so silent the noise was deafening. they didn't meet my eyes. finally, my little girl said, "well, we sort of haven't seen you for a year daddy.." her voice tailed off.
why....
after a long silence, my wife whispered, "there was an accident last year and...well..there was a lot of blood...you said your final words and then..and then..."
before she could finish, i felt myself being pulled. time travelling. no No NO!! NOT NOW!!
white flashes. then nothing.

upcoming

hey guys,
on friday, which shouldn't even have been a school day by the way, alvyn, wei kee, daniel, norman and i went to town to shop for some stuff. haha, 5 guys shopping in town. ultimate gayness, yet total fun. yea, think back on the oxford street night with alvyn, wei kee, kelvin and i. rocks man. that night was wild, probably one of the best nights of my life, and the company couldn't have been better. i love my class. 04A1A you guys rock man. the guys are the best. raymond, kelvin, alvyn, wei kee, norman and daniel. not stoning just rocking. we're going to play the soccer competition on tuesday. well, breathe in for luck. the other day we went through, ahem ahem, intensive training, and yea, we're prepared to do battle. sound the horns

new pics

hey guys
two new galleries of pictures put up
enjoy!

clean hands

why o why did i wash my hands with soap that day
and then forget to dry them
and now why doesn't the glue stick to my hands
and thus leave the glitter falling

pics

hey guys
i got some pics uploaded at the side of the page
enjoy!