On the bright side, she could choke

Tonight I feel scared and sad.
It sounds extremely retarded, but today was the second time I teared while reading my popular culture notes. Shane, oh Shane, you were born in the wrong time.
This post will be dysfunctional and will contain ramblings with no coherence whatsoever.
I did warn you.
I feel scared because I don't know how much I've changed since 5 years ago. Essentially, I want to be the same person, yet, I want to grow in many ways. Help me.
I felt sad tonight, because in many ways, I feel that I have let Samuel, Pearl, Samantha and Cheryl down. I don't know why. Their friendship is an anchor in my life, and yet I do not tell or show them.
I think, in the past 5 years, I have let many people down.

The Sound

Ladies and gentlemen, Shane's 4th Law is born.

Death and all his friends

This post is about finding song in death.

My favourite set of lyrics on death: "Love is watching someone die" by Death Cab for Cutie.

One last song before the world blasts into oblivion: "World, hold on" by Bob Sinclair.

If the world, through some way, revives: "One More Time" by Daft Punk.

Idealised Death: "The Leaver's Dance" by The Veils.

A way to stop death: "Wake up" by The Arcade Fire.

My funeral song: "Dakota" by Stereophonics.

Escaping Death: "No Cars Go" by The Arcade Fire.

Death on the battlefield: "Soldier's Poem" by Muse.

Death of Youth: "Soco Amaretto Lime" by Brand New.

Time and Confusion

SARAH FANG WELCOME BACK BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! :D



Now, it's a party.

Pieces of the people we used to love

Dreams.

We have them. We forget them. All dreams are different. All dreams are the same. The dreams I speak of are not of the ambition sphere, but rather, of the videoistic kaleidoscope of fuzzy, if not hazy, images that float in wild abandon when we sleep. Dreams are not the same as nightmares, for if they were, I would pity the latter, because she would be a subset. And she does not deserve such a status.

People say that we dream of the things we think of most during the day. People say we dream of the things we worry about. People say that dreams are a premonition of the future. People say that dreams are a tapestry of history, coming back to haunt us. People. What do they know. Dreams are not nightmares.

My dreams are as they can only be, dreams. My dreams are of demons and vampires. My dreams are of werewolves and women in white. My dreams are of possessions, and yellow eyes, of ghouls and trolls, of zombies and the undead. My dreams are of the woman in black, of Rebecca.

People say they are frightful. People say my room is haunted. People say that I am disturb(ing)ed. People say. People ignore the fundamental fact, that dreams follow no other law, but to fade away under the flood of light.

People. What do they know.

This Conversation

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:50:38 PM)
no but i can imagine if we btoh were walking together, or eating at the deck together

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:50:42 PM)
and he walks past

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:50:59 PM)
we would have a common understanding that prbly result in a laughter of some sort

Shane says: (10:51:51 PM)
hahaha

Shane says: (10:52:06 PM)
i think we arm chio until stomach ache lor

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:52:37 PM)
hahhaa

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:52:39 PM)
arm chio

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:52:42 PM)
wtf

Shane says: (10:53:05 PM)
i don't know how to spell arm lah

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:53:18 PM)
it sounds right la

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:53:20 PM)
but usually

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:53:22 PM)
i will see

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:53:23 PM)
um chio

Shane says: (10:53:49 PM)
yeah i thought of that too, but um will read like urm...

Shane says: (10:53:50 PM)
right not

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:12 PM)
yah

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:12 PM)
right

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:17 PM)
hmm

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:39 PM)
arm chio

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:49 PM)
makes me feel like there's not tone to it

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:55:58 PM)
its like a monotone reading

Shane says: (10:56:09 PM)
yeah actually i agree with you

Shane says: (10:56:14 PM)
like no omph!

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:56:18 PM)
ah yes

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:56:22 PM)
that's the word

I am Tay Yong Kang. says: (10:56:26 PM)
no oomph!

Shane says: (10:56:45 PM)
this is so going up on my blog

Pick a part that's new

In a way, I was afraid to start on this post, because what it means is an affirmation of a beginning. It is not necessarily a new one, but regardless, the factory production line churns to life with a manufactured sound. For those of you who know me, change is not my friend.

In 2008, there were 2 main questions that I sought to answer. The first, was whether an idealist can survive in the world. The second, what joy is.

For the former, 2008 was a year where I solidified my beliefs in idealism. There was distinct moments and events which helped in reinforcement, all of which I give thanks for. There were, however, boulders which came smashing down, and left me for dead. So to answer the question, I do not know for sure if an idealist can survive in the world, but I do know, that for the simple constructs of the idealists which becomes reality, it is fully worth it to continue to try and hope.

As to what joy is, it is not happiness. Both are of a different nature and do not cross paths. I cannot tell you what joy is, nor will I tell you that it is something you have to experience it yourself. I will tell you, however, that it is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It is suffering, it is faith, it is love.

This year, I believe that there will be numerous battles on the fields of idealism. The lush greenness will be drenched with a sea of ruby red, and all hope will have seemed to be lost. But there will be morning, and there will be light. I believe that my beliefs are going to be tested, and the same question that I asked at the beginning of 2008 will come back with more venom.

This is going to be the year where we will see if Rebecca, Peyton, the woman in black, Talleyrand, Bismarck and Napoleon can exist. The white wash from the Battle of the Atlantic will crash in bitterness onto my face. I will feel the freeze of numerous retreats from Russia. I will see Nelson's flag 'England expects every man will do his duty' raised at Trafalgar. I will be haunted by Rebecca. Idealism will be epitomised in Peyton. I will fear the woman in black. And most preciously, I will love and be loved by the people whom I cherish. They know who they are.

God has been good in 2008, and I do not see any reason why not to trust His plan for me in 2009. I take comfort in the knowledge that if my God, Jesus Christ, is for me, then no one can be against me. I know I say this almost every year, but, Faith, Hope and Love will be enough.

"I do not know exactly what we must believe, but I believe that we must believe in something!"

We can all be kings over the parkway.

Best wishes for 2009.