Immigration

For a moment, in the enormity of slight,
anonimity shall bear my shield
and I will hide myself from this world
and escape into the darkness
to find myself
naked and bare, sword in hand
ready to do battle with my demons.

(In english: people, i will be away on my squad chalet till wednesday, trying to take a breather from the mass of distortion and acidity around me. plus, if you all wanna come to the most awesome halloween party on tuesday night, please contact me thanks)

Bonzo goes to Bitburg

I don't wanna give a shit anymore,

just me and my rock, babyyyy~

For those about to rock

One thing that's really close to my heart, admist all the distortion of the world, is good old rock and roll. Sure, Indie and alternative have taken over my playlists, but rock will always have a special place in my heart. I'm glad that 21st century world has rejected rock for trash and crap, because the world doesn't deserve it. Not one bit at all.

In the words of AC/DC,
"We roll tonight,
to the guitar bite"

Stand up and be counted for what you are about to receive.

My brain is hanging upside down

Sorry for the lack of updates, because

1) I was sick...like a fever almost on the verge of frying my brain cells.

2) I was fixing my German WWII Tiger tank, and now, I have a grand collection of 3 tanks (the other 2 being one British Sherman and one Russian HV1B) and i'm pitting them against one another. I guess we all know who won that conflict. And might i suggest this to any WWII history buff, go and build miniature models of the war machines at that time, and you'll understand a whole lot more on why who won which battle.

3) As of yesterday, was on a History Channel Marathon.

4) Data keeping my whole collection of songs, in the case of my mac blowing up, due to the awesomeness of the songs i have in it.

So yeah i guess that was what had kept me busy. I think now, I need a Russian T34 tank, and probably an American one as well, though i can't decide on which model. I think I should put it up on a poll here, though I think it would have a grand total of one entry coming from my goodself.

To even the sides, I guess I should get a Panther.

The valley of new orleans

23 march plane
24 arrival at london @ 0700hrs
manchester day trip*

how many days in london/manchester?
24 march - london - 30 March
total nights in england =7 nights (no nights in manchester)
leave for paris on 31st
arrive paris 31st

paris (1 night)
leave for normandy on 1st Apr
arrive normanday on 1st Apr
normandy + caen (2 nights)
leave normandy 3 apr

caen to french alps 3 apr
french alps (2 nights)
5 apr leave french alps tp paris
arrive 5 apr

1 night in paris

leave paris 7 apr

accommodation : $800 +_
Air fare: $1500
Allowance : $200
total for this : $2500

rail and bus travel : $500

total : $3000

food: $500

total : $3500 (basic)

Vicious Traditions

Berenice, you were right, there's no release at all.

THERE'S NO RELEASE AT ALL..

Back in Black

oh and I'm so glad that ACDC stands for Alernating Current Direct Current and not all those other cult bullshit. Like what some of them who wrote, don't stereotype rock and roll for all things bad. As in, I've been a fan of theirs since 'Little Nicky' came out, but I guess I just never knew what ACDC truly stood for.

Here are some that sounded quite funny:
"From what I remember AC/DC is a slang term for being bisexual. "going both ways" the band, of course, didn't realize this until it was too late. no, they are not bisexual"

"I thought it was there sister's curling iron they got the band's name from."

Never take friendship personal

I think I'll do something I haven't done in a long time over here - Music rantings.

We aren't in Vietnam anymore

I get really sad when I think of Green Day now, because all people associate with them is 'wake up me when september ends'. This is the problem, when bands get politics into their music, it distort the whole symphony. Green Day was an awesome band, they really were. A cult figure in the punk rock scene during the late eighties and early nineties, they survived over 20 years of a punk rock revolution, with distortion coming in from pop, boybands and hard rock. With American Idiot, the band dawned on a new age of popularity, but one that came at a price - their music. Nowadays, you could go around and ask just about anyone who Green Day are, and they'd be able to tell you. You could ask anyone to name one song by Green Day, and they would tell you 'wake me up when september ends'. Ask them about Nimrod and you'll witness a formation of a confused visage so far up their face you can see the hypocripsy.

It's something I notice about bands who move up the political front, and it's a movement away from their music. Green Day!! Hello lads!! I want your 'heartbreak, my ex girlfriend totally screwed me over songs', tracks like 'nice guys finish last', wierd ass tunes like 'king for a day' and heartfelt ones like 'time of your life' (all those pretenders would be going like 'ohhhhhh so THEY sang that song...right about now.). And with the next album they produce after the 'political' one, it would usually be a 'comeback' album, to their style or whatever. So, if that's the case, then they did degrade themselevs previously, didn't they? I think the best example of a band who has stayed constant all this while would be Oasis. They just don't give a shit, and it works.

Too many bands going political. Let generation Y's music stay youthful. I'm not saying that music can't be used to spread beliefs and opinions about politics, but come on, let's leave that to the boybands, punk and emo wannabes, and american idol soloists to deal with. To the bands I love, stay true to your music. It's your sincerity and heart that has reached out to the underground crowd, not not because of commercialism or high cost music videos.

We have to wear our hearts on our sleeves, tears on our collars and gushes of blood on our knees.

It's time for a revolution, our revolution.

That Thing You Do

Sometimes I get really irritated with all the pretentious bunch of shitheads (no KELVIN i'm not referring to you, cuz I know when you read this you'll be like 'hmm....is shane talking about me....') , who throw the word 'emo' like it didn't mean anything and was just the product of a continous factory line. Everything's emo now; the plant outside my house, the dirty pavements, plastic bags, computers, rain droplets, stones (and let's not forget the rocks, yeah, they're a sad bunch of the sand family) and grass.

My dear Singaporeans, I might sound a tad bitchy here, but please, follow these simple steps:
1) Get a thesarus. If you don't have a thesaurus, go directly to step 4.
2) Find the word 'emo'.
3) Apply substitues.
4) Go to Microsoft Word.
5) Type in 'emo'.
6) Highlight 'emo'.
7) Press Ctrl F7.
8) Apply substitues.
9) Get a life.

I guess I could go on and on about this, cuz I'm really passionate about music, also quite possessive. I think I'll stop here, cuz I don't think anyone has read up to this point, and secondly, I'm gonna listen to some Nimrod now.

The Nowhere Man

In many ways, I am still living in different times and places.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when it gets bitterly cold, I wake up, and the first thing that hits me in the darkness, is the thought of where my rifle is. Then I'd think of either Navin or Shengrong, the 2 people I had spent sleeping with in the basha during sit test and field camp respectively. I get really terrified, when i realise I'm not there anymore.

There are times, it could be anywhere, where I hear someone shout something in the distance, and a fear creeps down my spine, as I remember the unease when I lay in bunk, trying to get a good rest, and the squad leader would be opening doors and shouting the call to fall in. And every night, as I come back to my room as an individual, I miss the unease.

During really boring days at the office, my mind replays the lessons in NY; Mr Kellett's tea sessions, soccer conversations with Mr Tan, debate on angels and devils with Mrs Teo, clowning around with Ms Kwok, encouragement from Mr Nathan, and chill out sessions with Mr Yee. Then I start to feel real cold and empty.

When I plug in my Ipod, and the 'song of the moment' comes on, I wander back to the most awesome gig I had ever played at - The Finals of The One. Then I'd picture Mel, Ivan and I playing to the particular song that was playing on my Ipod at that moment. One great rock show can change the world. I long for it.

And by far, probably the worse of the lot, the thoughts that really eat me up inside, exposing my rotten flesh with acidic wounds and hidden scars, a decay of remorse, a strench of regret, a decomposition of the soul; the 'what ifs'. I picture different scenarios, different solutions, but at the end of the day, I know it can all only be in the mind, and nothing more. I guess there would be some things I would change if I could go back, but then again, if I did, I might not be having the life I have now, might not be the person I am now. And in the end, I guess I don't want that, because quite frankly, I feel very blessed for everything I have.

Still, I am living in all these places, in all these times...
And all these places, they will always be me.

The Runaway Found

I got the best start to the week possible!

I got an sms from Sarah, all the way from AUSTRALIA (!!!!), this morning when i woke up!!
SARAH FANG HUI CI I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM!!!! (yes, to Sarah and I, this constitutes shouting haha)

Sarah, you're golden.

I think I am looking forward more to her return than to my ord.

kway teow. oh lua. chee chong fun. laksa. mee goreng. mee soto. nasi lemak. mee pok. wan ton mee with extra chilli. Sarah, you hungry yet? :p

The Leavers Dance

Bliss.

I woke up with a nagging clutch in my heart today. In some way, I felt as though I was trying, fighting hard not to forget something. On the bus, I plugged in my Ipod, and then it hit me.

I was listening to The Leavers Dance by The Veils, and I realised then, that I was so afraid of letting go. My thoughts drifted back to the first time I heard the song, and all the feelings that accompanied with. For a moment, just for that moment, in the space of 4 minutes, the song shut out all the world had thrown at me. Everything faded into a blackness that wrapped me warmly in her arms. For that fleeting moment, I was not part of this world. I felt so inspired, and at that point, my
idealism didn’t seem so revolutionary, didn’t seem insanity. I felt genuine happiness. In my mind, a thousand idealistic, picture perfect scenarios sprang up, and one by one, I savoured them. It was a delicious feast for crows in a drought. Suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter. The world consisted of The Veils, Berenice, my thoughts, and me.

After the first time, I kept listening to the song repeatedly. There was once where I played it for 7 consecutive times without any pause. Then, I started to get scared. I was afraid that if I were to over listen to it, I would soon tire of the song, and all those feelings would dissolve into void. So, I tried to pace myself.

And then something strange happened. For every other song that I switched to, I felt the life sucked out of me, as though that there was no sense in listening to any other particular song, because it made me so dull and inert. For a time, I felt as though I was listening to noise, rather than a melody. Still, I refused to over gorge on The Leavers Dance. I kept my distance, because I was terrified at the thought of perfection being taken away from me. To each his own, but to me, the song was flawless. It spoke to me, enticed me with worn out caresses, lifted me to the highest reaches of euphoria, and took me out
of this world, even if it was only for a while. Losing this feeling… it was the place I had come to fear the most.

I woke up with a nagging clutch in my heart today. In some way, I felt as though I was trying, fighting hard not to forget something. On the bus, I plugged in my Ipod, and then it hit me.

It didn’t leave. It was there. It took me out again, and I was lost in the blackness of nothingness.

Bliss.